


Heroes sleep

by chlolou1208



Category: Emmerdale, vanity - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Cancer, F/F, Family, Fluff, car crash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:34:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chlolou1208/pseuds/chlolou1208
Summary: This will probably be about three chapters long?Charity falls asleep at the wheel, she’s exhausted from taking care of Vanessa during chemo and looking after 4 kids.We’ve seen Vanessa in hospital so I wanted to do a reverse on Charity sitting at her bedside to Vanessa at Charity’s bedside.(Follow my Twitter- chlo_barnes12)
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

She felt her eye lids droop for the third time during her shift behind the bar, despite it only being a Wednesday afternoon. 

“You alright love?” Chas asked as she made her way from the table of Dingles she’d been sat at, baby Eve hugged tightly in her arms. 

“Fine babe yeah, just tired that’s all” Charity admitted, a deep sigh erupting as she finished washing a pint glass. She placed it back down and picked up the next one in the pile of dirty glasses from the punters. 

  
She’d been running around for weeks trying to make everything perfect for Vanessa, her fourth chemo session had taken its toll and left her bed ridden for most of the week, she had struggled to even make it to the toilet without help from herself, Tracy or one of the teens. Luckily Noah and Sarah are always more than willing to help, the former making her brews every now and then and the latter sitting with her at night when Charity’s at work, watching films on the new Disney Plus app that all the kids (even Noah) are obsessed with. Despite their help though, Charity finds herself rushed off her feet most days, fetching Moses from school on week days and dropping him at Ross’ on some weekends. Johnny always demands to drive with them so she ends up buying dinner or tea for the three of them from one of the many takeaways the boys like, McDonald’s happy meals being their favourite. Cooking tea for her family is a stress too, often everyone wants different things while Vanessa struggles to stomach anything she cooks. 

So yeah, tired is probably an understatement. 

She’s exhausted. 

Thankfully Chas takes pity on her, “listen, why don’t you go and put your feet up while Vanessa’s at Tracy’s, you look shattered”.

“Ah thanks babe” Charity kisses her cheek as she gets her coat from the rack in the back room. She waves her hand to little Eve, now wide awake in Chas’ arms and starring up at the brunette with eyes as wide as hot air balloons. She gives a quick ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ to Sam, Lydia and Belle as she passes their table on the way out, they give her a pitiful smile which she tries to return before leaving the pub. Fresh air at last. She walks towards Jacobs Fold, sending a quick text to Vanessa asking how she is and if she’s having a nice, _girly day_ as Vanessa had called it this morning, with Tracy. 

Just as she’s about to shove her keys in the front door and slip her phone back into her pocket, the device flashes in her hand and starts blurting out it’s annoying ring tone. She huffs and contemplates not answering until she realises it’s the ‘holiday club’s’ phone number, she frowns and answers quickly. 

“Hello…Speaking…” Charity fiddles with the keys in her hands as she speaks, cursing internally when they drop with a clatter to the floor. 

“Oh god, ok I’m coming now…thanks for letting me know” She sighs and shoves the keys back in her pocket, swapping them for her car key as she rounds the garden wall to her car. 

Turns out letting them eat a full Easter egg each last night was not the best idea, as both boys had thrown up after eating more chocolate and taking part in the Easter egg treasure hunt. She could hear Johnny crying in the background of the phone call, he’s never coped with being ill. So much for her putting her feet up, she thought as she fastened her seatbelt and pulled away from the curb. 

*************

“Aww, Charity’s just texted me” 

Tracy lifts her head up from the bowl of salted popcorn she’s munching on. 

“The boys have been sick at holiday club, she’s gone to fetch them, apparently she could hear Johnny sobbing while she was on the phone..”

Tracy guts and pouts her lips, “aww bless them, that’ll have been all the chocolate they’ve been having”.

“Maybe you should walk me back home so we can help Charity look after them when they get back?” Vanessa asks, already pushing herself up higher on the sofa that she’d sunk down into while watching the latest episode of Black Mirror. 

“V, Charity is perfectly capable of looking after the boys herself, just relax for a bit, she’d want you to-“ 

“Yeah I know but-“

“Sshh” Tracy hands her the bowl of popcorn, as if that anchors her to the seat and to the next episode that’s already loading on the tv in front of them. Vanessa gives in and sends a text to charity before she is captured by the events happening in the imaginary world on screen.

**Tracy’s insisting I stay here for a bit, you ok with the boys? There’s buckets under the sink by the way incase they’re sick anymore. Love you x**

She dips her hand in the popcorn and takes a healthy handful out, picking up pieces one by one as the show plays. Popcorns healthy anyway, she’ll tell Charity.

**************  
  
Charity feels her phone vibrate in her pocket as she slows down for a red light, Vanessa she guesses. 

She taps her fingers on the wheel, an attempt to keep her eyes open. She’ll fetch the boys, hopefully grab a coffee from the vending machine in the kitchen at holiday club and then bring the boys home and hopefully none of them will empty their guts in the back of her freshly cleaned car courtesy of Noah and Sarah (she’d paid them a tenner and let them have takeaway pizza for tea). 

A honk makes her jump in her seat, she looks up quickly and realised that the lights have probably been on green for quite some time so she quickly accelerates and carries on down the road, she notices the car behind her getting closer and closer, almost up the back end of the car. She rolls her eyes, childish. 

  
She’s about 10 minutes away from holiday club when she feels her eyelids droop and glue shut, her hands slip from the wheel and the sound of beeping echoes around the car, loud honks coming from all directions. She gasps and opens her eyes to see a van slam into the door beside her, she tries swerving the other cars coming towards her heap of a car with the van still pushing her drivers side which causes her to smash into a lamppost, a huge crash erupting from the violent contact between the car and the post. Lights smash and tyres screech as the car comes to a stop, Charity’s body soaring towards the windscreen and then the seatbelt yanks her back like a boomerang into the car seat. The last thing Charity hears is the sound of car doors slamming, a few other drivers clambering out of their cars to check on the lifeless blonde, before darkness overwhelms her. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa gets the dreaded call from the hospital.

“40 odd year old woman, unconscious, appears to have severe injuries to the head and collar bone, brought in after a car accident over in Hotten” 

The wheels squeak on the hospital flooring as Charity is wheeled further into the accident and emergency area, two paramedics at the top of the stretcher while various doctors rush to her side to gather their bearings. Her head is strapped up inside a huge red coloured neck brace, her hands are at her sides resting against the side of her thighs, small cuts littering her skin. Blood runs down her head and seals into blonde curls, hiding in the front wisps of her hair that’s now sticking to her cheek. 

The wooden double doors slam shut behind her stretcher. 

**********

“Right no more episodes please…, me bums hurting from sitting on this sofa all day” Vanessa jokes as she uses her hands to stand up, her legs week and wavering slightly as she balances by holding onto the arm of the settee. Tracy goes to move but then sits back after seeing her sister standing stronger than a few seconds ago. 

“Oh alright then, I guess we should see what mayhem is happening across at yours” Tracy says, finishing the last bite of popcorn and taking their mugs of tea to the sink, placing them in their to wash up later. 

“Just hope the boys haven’t been sick anymore, Charity absolutely hates the smell” Vanessa shrugs her green coat on and zips it up, remembering charity’s disgust at cleaning up Sarah’s sick after the party she’d threw before Christmas. Luckily Vanessa hadn’t thrown up uncontrollably yet, always managing to make it to the toilet with Charity’s help before she vomits. 

“Come on then” Tracy opens her arm up and Vanessa folds her arm through her younger sisters, leaning slightly against the taller blonde as they head out of the door. 

“Ay maybe we should-“

A repetitive ring interrupts Tracy and Vanessa quickly retrieves her phone, an unknown number flashing up on the screen, for a second she dreads answering, thinking it could be something about the chemo or there’d been a tragic discovery that she won’t beat the cancer she’s been battling against. She answers and stops walking, already breathless from the few feet they’ve walked from the house. 

“Hi?” 

_“Afternoon, is this Vanessa Woodfield? Partner of Charity Dingle?”_

A soft, female voice answers. 

“Yeah that me what’s-“

 _“I’m really sorry to inform you of this but, Ms Dingle has been in a car accident and_ -“

Tracy watches Vanessa’s hand fly to her mouth to muffle the gasp that escapes from her lips, her eyes cloud with tears and a frown emerges on her face. Tracy tried to meet her sisters eyes, a frown now also appearing on her features. 

“She’s what? Oh god is she ok?”

 _“We’ll need you to_ -“

“I’m coming-“ She doesn’t even check to see if she’s hung up before shoving her phone in her pocket and grabbing Tracy by the wrist, dragging her towards the gate. 

“Tracy we need to go it’s Charity she’s been in an accident and she’s at the hospital, you have to take me there I need to see her I-“

Vanessa’s words flood out of her mouth, mirroring the tears that slide down her cheeks. Tracy moves faster than light when she hears what’s happening, retrieving her keys from her pocket and helping Vanessa walk as quickly as she can to the car. 

“She’ll be alright V try not to panic” Tracy fastens her seatbelt as she says this, already starting up the ignition.

“You don’t know that, please just drive”  
Vanessa’s worry overcomes her as she snaps back at her sister, her heart pounds and she can practically hear it thudding against her chest. It’s nothing like she’s ever felt before, there’s a million questions spinning round in her head. What had happened? How had Charity crashed the car? Were the boys inside? Is Charity going to die? 

Tyres screech on Tracy’s car as she pulls away from Tug Gyll. 

******  
  
Vanessa huffs as the automatic doors at the hospital open too slowly for her liking. Tracy has dropped her off at the doors to save her walking, and she’d gone to find a car parking spot, Vanessa insisted she’d be fine on her own as long as she got to Charity as soon as possible. 

She walks quickly up to the desk, a tired looking woman sits there typing away at the computer and has barely enough time to look up before Vanessa speaks. 

“Charity Dingle, she’s my partner and she’s been bought in after a car accident please tell me she’s alright” Vanessa blurts out across the desk as a tall, male doctor who’d been walking by pauses in front of her. 

“Sorry, family of Charity Dingle?” He questions, a clipboard in hand. 

“Yeah, are you her doctor is she alright I-“

The doctor beckons her to follow him as he starts walking at a fast pace towards the Casualties Ward and past a large room filled with various other patients with broken bones, bloody faces and bruised bodies. She tries her best to keep up with his long and quick strides despite the pain it causes. 

“She has quite a nasty collarbone injury that we will have to x-ray within the next hour after the fairly deep wound on the back of her head has been stitched up, it’s bandaged you temporarily while we assess her. We believe she has done some damage to her head though, she’s been unconscious and hasn’t yet woken up since the driver had called the ambulance after the crash, for this reason we decided to put Charity in a medically induced coma to be on the safe side”

He speaks in a soft yet professional manner, occasionally looking back at Vanessa to make sure she’s taking it all in, he tries to smile reassuringly while Vanessa tears up even more after listening to the damage she’d done. So much for it just being a broken arm like Tracy had guessed on their journey over here, 

_“Stay positive yeah, don’t worry for nothing, especially in your state, Charity wouldn’t want that V…you never know she might’ve just broken an arm or something”_

…she wishes. 

“So why weren’t she wakin’ up then? Is her brain badly damaged or…” she trails off, panic suggested by the wavering in her questions.

“We believe that the heavy force against her head has caused her to have grade three concussion, and we’re waiting for the CT scan to come back to ensure there are no bleeds on the brain or clots however we’re almost certain that these tests will come back looking fine” 

Vanessa takes all this in as her legs carry her heavy body, she’s about to slow down when the doctor stops in front of a door, the windows have the blinds closed and she’s hopeful they’ve reached Charity’s room. 

“Can I see her?” Vanessa asks, a hand already coming up to push against the door. 

“Go ahead, as I said she’s currently in an induced coma and may well be for a few days if we feel she needs to be, however we hope to wake her from this in 12-48 hours…” The doctor finishes and encourages her to go inside the room with a nod of his head, he says he’ll be back with the results of a scan and tells her that a nurse will be through shortly to dress her wounds. Vanessa thanks him and enters the room. 

  
She gasps at the sight of her usually gobby, confident, ‘loud and proud’ fiancé, laying with a neck brace around her head, dried blood on the side of her face and her whole body bruised and battered. She walks towards the bed and leans over Charity, brushing her matted hair from her pale face. Vanessa leans down to softly place a kiss against Charity’s dry lips, and one against her forehead, ever so gently believing that applying any sort of pressure would break her like a thin layer of glass, shattering into a thousand pieces. Charity’s eyes remain shut, her hands cold as Vanessa sits at her bedside, sliding the chair even closer (if possible), and slips her hand inside of Charity’s. She squeezes slightly and deflates when she doesn’t feel anything back. 

“Oh god Charity…” 

Vanessa feels tears crawl down her cheeks again, not bothering to detach her hands from holding Charity’s to wipe them away. As she stares at Charity, as if she’d magically waken her with the love pouring from her eyes to her fiancé’s closed ones, she’s interrupted and jumps slightly at Tracy barging in, phone pressed to her ear. 

“V it’s Noah, I rang and told him about what had happened…” She says as she takes a seat on the bottom of Charity’s bed, minding her feet. 

Vanessa reaches out for the phone and presses it to her ear, relieved to hear their older sons voice through the device. “Hi Noah, god I’m sorry I didn’t ring you sooner I’ve only just got here-“ 

_“Ness stop rambling it’s fine…Me and Sarah have just got back home from Samson’s, Tracy rang-is mum ok?”_

His deep voice comes through the speaker, the worry evident in his voice. 

“I’m with her now, she’s in a coma but the doctors have said there isn’t anything to worry about, they’ve done a scan which should be coming back any minute now but they’re almost positive there won’t be anything troubling on there” 

She knows Noah is nodding because she heads his hair scratching against the phone making a muffling sound, he does that sometimes, forgets he’s on the phone and she can’t actually see him nodding his head. 

“She’s gotta have an x Ray soon and she’s unconscious but the doctors said they’re hoping to wake her up within a day or two…listen I know this sounds worrying and scary but she’s in the best place and, despite how broken she looks I know your mums fighting to be back with us and she will be” Vanessa tries reassuring him, it’s hard though. She prefers to comfort with her body, not her words, she wants to hug him and squeeze his hand, which she will do as soon as she sees him. 

_“Ok good, and…are you ok?”_ Noah asks. 

“Yes love I’m fine, shook up obviously but, it’s your mum we need to focus on for the minute…I can get Tracy to come fetch you if you want to come up here or-“

_“No need, apparently our Mandy is gonna see Dan at the hospital so she’s gonna take me, Sarah and pick up Johnny and Moses on the way”_

“Oh god!” Vanessa gasps, “I completely forgot about the boys! I should have-“

“ _Chill Ness really, as soon as Tracy called Sarah rang to tell the holiday club what had happened, she even spoke to our Moses on the phone and he said they hadn’t been sick again so…”_

Vanessa sighs out of relief. She’s grateful Noah is so like his mum, he thinks on his feet and gets the job done, he also stays calm and makes sure everyone around him is safe and ok, a bit like Vanessa herself, she thinks. 

“Thanks Noah, I’ll see you soon ok? Text Tracy when you get here and she’ll come meet you all by the doors…”

_“Ok, see ya then”_

“Bye Noah… erm, love you” She adds on the end, biting the inside of her cheek as she waits for his response. She doesn’t know why she’s said it, but it’s probably because she’s almost just lost the love of her life and she can’t think of anything more blissful than being with her family; the boys who she loves as her own, the granddaughter she’s grown so fond of. She’s never been vocal about her love for their eldest son, she loves him to bits of course and she truly believes that he knows it. He loves her back too, probably as much as his mum. They’ve just never said it to each other. 

She hears him scoff on the other end. “… _whatever_ ” he laughs. “ _Love you an all_ ” he says quietly, she pictures him blushing as he says it. It makes her beam though, despite her eyes still on her injured fiancé. 

  
Tracy coos as she ends the call to Noah, Vanessa hands her back the phone and shakes her head at her sister. 

“I can’t believe I nearly lost her Trace, that phone call was horrible, it made me panic so much and it felt like my heart was going to explode it was beating so fast…” Vanessa says, almost rhetorically and not expecting a response, as if she’s airing her thoughts in the quiet room, the respective beating letting her know Charity is still with them. 

Tracy shakes her head, thinking back to a conversation she recalled with the taller blonde herself when Vanessa had been the one in hospital and Charity was the one waiting to hear if the love of her life was going to make it out of the hospital alive or not. She remembers how Charity told her her heart had stopped, and how Charity had slept beside Vanessa and not left her side when she first was taken into the hospital. 

She hopes she’ll find a love like that someday. 

True love. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charity wakes up at the end. My fingers are killing after writing this, god knows how people write 20,000 word fanfics

“Cheers Mandy” Noah says as they walk into the hospital, Mandy bounces ahead in front of them eager to see Dan who she’s apparently pining after, Noah gathers. Sarah’s holding Johnny and Moses’ packed lunch bags Vanessa had made for holiday club while Noah holds his little brothers’ hands. 

“No bother, Dingles help each other our don’t they” she says, marching ahead through the hospital doors. She turns round, “make sure you tell Vanessa hello from me and I hope ya mums better soon” She smiles and runs off down in the opposite way to where Tracy stands, he spots her as he waves Mandy goodbye and tugs on the boys’ hands as the group make their way over to her. 

Tracy smiles and bends down to kiss Johnny and Moses’ foreheads, ruffling their hair as she stands back up. 

“Hiya you lot…are you feeling poorly misters?” Tracy directs the last part to the two little ones who’ve gone back to hold Noah’s hand. 

They both nod, “not sick anymore though but me tummy still hurtin a bit” Moses responds, rubbing his belly for effect and pouting. 

“They said the ladies at holiday club already gave them some medicine” Sarah pipes up from beside Noah. 

“Well that’s good then Init, shall we go see ya mummies then?” 

They perk up at that, grins wide on their little faces. 

“Remember what we said in the car though, mum’s hurt and she’s sleeping so she gets better” Noah says, his voice gentle and soft when talking to them instead of the gruff sounding deep voice he normally speaks with. The boys nod and tug on his hand. 

“Come on then” Tracy walks off in the direction of Charity’s hospital room, the bundle of kids following behind. 

****

“…and then Tracy made me try chocolate flavoured popcorn can you believe that? I’d never even heard of it before, it’s a strange flavour you definitely wouldn’t like it, and before you go thinking I’ve been scoffing my face all day with unhealthy stuff, popcorns actually a healthy snack so…” 

Vanessa’s voice trails off, the machine beeping with the rise and fall of Charity’s chest. She can hear a soft high pitched noise as Charity breaths through her nose, a thin breathing tube fastened below it. She’s been talking to Charity about her day, caressing her hand softly as she does. Her other hand had now been bandaged, a nasty cut that went from her thumb to her wrist had been stitched and then wrapped by the nurse that had come in to dress her wounds. She hadn’t left her side for a second, apart from when Charity had gone in for her x ray on her collar bone, luckily it wasn’t badly broken but it had been slightly fractured and she’d probably have to wear a sling for a good few months. Vanessa had mentioned how her other half would hate that when the doctors mentioned it, a smile on her face. Thankfully her CT scan had come back all clear too so waiting for Charity to wake from her medically induced coma was the only worry on Vanessa’s mind. Oh, and how Charity would react to being on bed rest for at least 4 weeks.   
  
She began thinking about the practicalities about both of them being out of action where the kids were concerned but her thoughts were interrupted by Moses and Johnny running through the door, Noah, Tracy and Sarah behind them.

“Hiya!” Vanessa smiles and holds her arms out for the boys, who’re careful when hugging her, Charity’s always reminding them to be gentle because of the chemo. 

“Mummy sleeping?” Johnny asks, his eyes looking at Charity, widening when he sees the bandages and the bruises and cuts. 

Noah has made his way to the chair at the other side of her bed, Tracy nipping out to get a few more chairs for them so Sarah and her are now sat at Noah’s side. 

“Yes but don’t worry, the doctors will wake her up soon and she’ll be all better” Vanessa reassures then, hoping that her words were true and nothing would go wrong or change over night. Their family has a tendency for things not working out and bad luck, she just hopes luck is on their side this time. 

Moses jumps at the bed, and Noah reaches over to pull him up so he’s sat at Charity’s feet. Johnny stays on the floor playing with his favourite toy car he takes everywhere with him, even holiday club. 

“Can she hear us?” Sarah asks.

“The doctors said it’s a possibility she can feel and hear us, I’ve been trying to talk to her to make her feel comfortable and that…bet she’s tired of my voice though, you two should talk to her” Vanessa nods her head at the teens. Noah laughs, “doubt mum would ever get tired of hearing your voice” he says and Vanessa rolls her eyes with a fond smile. He leans forward, taking his eyes over his mum who looks almost kinda peaceful, apart from the sore looking wound on the back of her head and the various other injuries scattered over her body. He hopes the little ones are scared by how she looks, knowing that he even doesn’t think it’s a pretty sight. 

“Hey up mum” he says awkwardly. “You best wake up before Ness makes us eat salad again for tea” He says. “And you need to read Johnny and Moses their bedtime story cos they hates it when me or Sarah try to do it, especially Sarah cos she’s rubbish at the different voices” 

“Oi” Sarah frowns. 

He sighs when receiving no response, but he smiles at Vanessa anyways because it made him feel less intimidated by seeing her so lifeless. After a while he occupies himself with showing Johnny a video on his phone, Johnny comes to squeeze next to him on the chair and laughs more than once at whatever video Noah plays. 

Sarah pops outside when Debbie calls and Tracy heads to the café for them all, Sarah wanted a sticky bun so they’d made a list on Tracy’s notes of what they wanted. Vanessa opts for a tea, not feeling hungry, the boys are sharing a packet of cheesy flavoured crisps and Noah asks for a chocolate éclair and orange juice. It’s just Vanessa and the boys now, and charity of course. Moses had clambered onto Vanessa’s lap, she’s reassured Tracy she was fine when he did so and she’s now playing with his favourite toy elephant, trying to mimic different voices as she animated the soft toy. Moses giggles and looks up at Vanessa with a cheeky smile. 

Vanessa still hasn’t let go of Charity’s hand so she freezes when she feels a soft squeeze.   
“What’s up?” Noah asks puzzled by Vanessa’s wide eyes as they stare at Charity. 

“I think she just squeezed my hand, try do it again Charity” Vanessa pleads, shaking charity’s hand a little. She gasps and smiles widely when she feels another squeeze, this one a little stronger than before. 

“That’s a good sign right?” 

Vanessa nods, smiling again with tears in her eyes. 

“Your mum’s gonna be fine” 

****

Its been a day since Vanessa had got the call that scared her to the end of her wits, a day since she’d rushed to the hospital to be with her fiancé who’d knocked herself senseless after getting involved in a car accident. 

Vanessa left Charity late last night, knowing that they weren’t able to stay with Charity broke her heart but she knew herself, Charity and the kids needed a good nights sleep. Tracy has ran them home and made sure everyone was tucked up in bed before leaving, she returned the next morning with breakfast from the café and had driven the family up to the hospital again this morning. Vanessa’s phone has not stopped pinging since she woke up, Debbie keeps texting her asking how Charity is, and some of the Dingles have messaged, Sam and Chas’ name popping up more often than the rest. She replies to them all, telling them of Charity’s condition and that she’ll let them all know when Charity wakes up, which will hopefully be today. 

They arrive at the hospital early, even Noah and Sarah don’t protest despite the early hours. They’re filled on bacon sandwiches which Vanessa had agreed for them to have and are walking behind her and Tracy with Moses and Johnny. 

When they walk in to Charity’s room a nurse is there fiddling with some of the feeding tubes on Charity, she thinks that’s what they’re for anyhow. 

“Nothings wrong is it?” Vanessa asks, failing to hide the worry behind her eyes and evident in her voice. 

“No no, just making sure all vitals are okay, the doctors have been speaking about waking her up soon, but she may well me strong enough to wake up on her own, she’s already been showing signs of coming round as I’ve seen her move her arm a few times while I’ve been in the room” The red headed nurse tells her, quickly finishing up and then excusing herself. 

  
The kids collect themselves and sit in the corner of the room, Tracys got them all playing a game of eye spy while she sits beside Charity on her bed. 

“Morning…” Vanessa smiles and strokes her hand along Charity’s cheek. She thinks she sees Charity’s nose twitch, so she starts looking for signs that her fiancé is about to wake up. She moves her eyes from charity’s messy hair to her eyes, trying to look to see them twitching under the kids. She looks at her cheeks and then her mouth, it’s slightly open and when she leans down to kiss her lips, she feels warm air puffing out of her mouth. She follows her neck down to her collarbone, trying to imagine Charity walking around with a sling, complaining that it’s her left hand, her food hand, so she can’t do day to day things like pour a pint or pour a cuppa tea, wash her own hair. Vanessa thinks, _maybe now she’ll understand how I feel_. She scoffs under her breath and goes back to gazing lovingly at Charity. 

“I missed sleeping next to you last night, was freezing in our bed without you there” Vanessa laughs, her fingers playing with the ends of Charity’s hair. She hears Noah say something along the lines of, “that’s not fair….that ain’t even in the room so you can’t see it” in the background to Tracy. Vanessa curls a strand of her behind her fingers and watches as it curls back into place when she lets it go, falling back down to rest on Charity’s chest. She laughs at the hospital gown Charity wears, knowing how much she’ll hate wearing it when she wakes up. 

“You gonna wake up for us soon ey?” Vanessa asks, tilting her head and looking down at Charity. 

She sighs. “I love you” she kisses her forehead and is about to stand up to retrieve her cuppa tea that’s probably gone cold since she’d popped it down on the windowsill, but a tug on her hand has her sitting back down quickly. She looks up and sees Charity’s eyes slowly beginning to open, her kids heavy as she forces them despite the bright light. 

“Charity?” 

Tracy lifts her head up and the kids look over at them. “Mummy awaking up?” Moses asks, chewing his elephant toy. 

“I’m not sure darling, Trace can you go and get someone” 

Tracy’s up before she even finishes, she hears her out in the corridor shouting for a doctor. Noah comes up beside her while Sarah hangs back with Johnny and Moses, the three of them watching over from their seats. 

  
  
She feels a soft kiss on her lips before feeling the weight beside her become lighter and the warmth start to disappear. She pulls as hard as she can on the soft hand in hers, feeling a body sit back down next to hers and hair tickle her face as Vanessa leans over her. She hears a muffled voice saying her name over and over again. Another hand comes to rest on her forearm, opposite to the side where she feels a hand squeeze hers. She slowly starts to open her eyes, battling the fiery light as it shines in her eyes. She opens her mouth to wet her lips, her moves slow and unsteady. She feels another, heavier presence at her side now, fiddling with the tubes on her face and the beeping machines that surround her. The hand is still in hers though and she feels it being brought up to lips that kiss her skin softly. 

Finally, she sees a blonde head peering over her, a small, smiling face coming into focus. 

“Hey sleeping beauty” Vanessa falls out, looking into the gorgeous green eyes that she’d missed. 

“I-“ Charity croaks out. Her voice sounds dry and unused but Vanessa listens and waits patiently. 

“-I l-love you too” She whispers, a lazy smile growing on her face as Vanessa’s features come fully into focus now. She see’s her family, their eyes looking over at her, a mixture of worried and happy faces. The doctor welcomes her back into the world but she can’t take her eyes off of the bright faces of the kids and her fiancé.   
  
“Hey…” she whispers, smiling lovingly. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the last chapter? Unless I get bored and make one of Charity going back home.

It’s been about half an hour since Charity has rejoined the world, her body sore and aching everywhere, especially her head, it felt like she was nursing a thousand hangovers and the worlds worst flu. She’d been glad when Vanessa had told the two younger boys to use their inside voices. 

“I’m gonna the toilet” Sarah announces, picking her phone up from where it’d been sat in her lap to put it in her jean pocket. They’d been sat, phone and social media free-for once-, chatting about what Charity had missed while she’d been in the hospital. Noah tells her about what he up to at Samson’s the day before, dramatically telling her how jealous he is that Sam and Lydia has given him the money to go to France while he’s stuck playing footy in the muddy fields of Emmerdale. 

“Oh I’ll come, been holding a wee for ages now” Tracy says, making Charity scrunch her nose up and the kids giggle. 

The two exit the room, leaving Noah to occupy the Moses and Johnny. He tells them that he’s going to take them outside for a bit so they can play with their cars, they’ve been annoyingly driving the little plastic red and blue toys along every surface in the hospital room. Vanessa’s lap, Charity’s none-poorly leg, the chairs…Vanessa had to grab Johnny and pull him away when he’d tried to drive up the machines. 

“Peace at last” Charity says, yawning as she does. 

“You’ve had peace for 24 hours, was scared that you weren’t gonna…ya know” Vanessa says. It was, momentarily, a possibility for Charity. To not wake up from the coma or to have been more injured than she was in the crash, to the point where she wouldn’t recover. With Vanessa though, her cancer isn’t a ‘momentary’ thing, it’s ongoing, Charity is out of the woods while Vanessa is scrambling through them still. 

“Well I didn’t, I wouldn’t do that to the kids and you, you’d miss me mayhem too much” she jokes to lighten the mood but Vanessa takes her words the wrong way. 

“Are you saying I _would_ leave them? Cos cancer ain’t a choice Charity-“

“Babe, chill alright I wasn’t saying that in the slightest and you know it” Charity states firmly. 

Vanessa breaths. “I know _I know_ , I’m just…tired and I’m snapping at you because last night I could have lost ya and I could barely breath and I just don’t understand how your coping with me and the cancer because I could slip away at any minute an-“

Charity sits up as quickly as she can, wincing as she reaches over to pull Vanessa onto the bed and into a hug. 

“Sshh, I’ve got you…” 

Vanessa sobs into her injured shoulder, careful not to press down and do any more damage. Charity squeezes as tight as she can, trying to reassure Vanessa that she’s here and isn’t going anywhere, hopefully that’s the same for Vanessa too but deep down she fears the fact they can never be sure. 

“I’m not going anywhere alright, I survived a van smashing into the side of me didn’t I so…” she shrugs, wearing a smug smile, her had takes a hold of Vanessa’s. 

The smaller blonde sniffles and wipes her nose with the other hand. She looks down at their hands and suddenly looks up at Charity, there’s probably a light bulb appearing above her head too Charity thinks, an assumed expression on her face. 

“How’d it happen?” 

Charity’s heart pounds, the question she’d been dreading since waking up has finally been asked. She’s surprised it took this long, she supposed it’s given her a chance to make up a story about how the other passenger was drunk or he’d run a red light or something. The old Charity would have done. 

This one tells the truth, because she’s learned to not lie to Vanessa, she can’t risk losing her, not now and not ever again. So, she averts her eyes and takes a deep breath. 

“I… please don’t be mad” She says, glancing at Vanessa to see a confused face appear.

“Why would I be mad?”

Charity swallows. “Cos, like the idiot I am, I fell asleep in the car, that’s why I crashed! Yet again, I cause all this damage, least it was mainly to myself this time-“ 

Vanessa drops her hand, frowning deeply. She sinks deeper into the bed she’s sitting on, her feet leaving the floor due to her height. 

“You, you fell asleep? In the car! What if the kids had have been there or-“

Charity shuffles further back into the bed away from Vanessa who’s eyes are trained on here very move, she struggles to read the emotions present there but she believes anger is definitely one of them. 

“I know! I was picking them up from holiday club cos they’d felt ill and I know what they get like when they’re poorly, you were at Tracey’s having a nice relaxing day for once an I didn’t wanna bother ya… If I’d have felt as tired as I did on the way there when I was coming back then I’d have called a cab I swear-“ Vanessa looks up as she stops speaking, she sees tears running down Charity’s cheeks and a shaking hand goes up to cover her mouth. 

Vanessa nods as she reaches for Charity’s hand, pulling it away from her mouth and enveloping it in hers. 

“I was gonna get a coffee at the holiday club to wake myself up, I’ve just…I’ve been feeling so drained lately, in the pub I was dropping off and Chas sent me home, felt like I was some incapable employee not the owner” she laughs bitterly. “An I hate myself because imagine if I had have been with our kids” Charity shakes her head and more tears pour from her puffy eyes. 

  
A realisation hits Vanessa like a slap to the face, she looks down guiltily. _She’s only tired coz she’s looking after me._

“Why didn’t you tell me how tired you were?” Vanessa tilts Charity’s chin so she meets her eyes. 

  
She shrugs and her free hand plays with a lose string on the bedding sheets, pulling and pulling until it snaps between her fingers. 

“Because you ‘need’ to be the strong one while I can’t be?” Vanessa uses her fingers to put air quotations around the word ‘need’. She knows why Charity didn’t tell her, because it’s Charity, it’s who she is. She doesn’t tell Vanessa because Vanessa’s the one with cancer, going through hours on end worth of chemo. She’s the one being sick all night, not eating as much as she should and sleeping more than ¾’s of the day. 

“You aren’t coping are you Charity” Vanessa states, stroking circles on the palm of charity’s hand to soften the words, her tone gentle yet certain. 

Charity shakes her head. “I thought I was but-“ 

“But your tryna be in five different places at once, look after a jam packed house hold, run a pub and keep up your tough girl image” Vanessa nudges charity’s side with her knee. Charity meets her eyes again and smiles, nodding in agreement. She’s never been more grateful that Vanessa does the talking, she’s usually the one rambling away while Vanessa listens and tries to understand, or while she tries to get Vanessa to open up to her about something, like when she talked to her for hours on end at night time when Frank had died and Vanessa was struggling. She talked her through every nightmare and every wobble. It’s different, Charity thinks, being the one to receive a massive speech instead of give it. 

“But while you’re tryna be everyone else’s saviour, you’re forgetting to look after yourself. I’ve not seen you put your feet up in ages because your either fussing after me or cleaning the house top to bottom…”

“But I don’t want you to catch anything babe I-“

Vanessa hushes her. “Charityy” she scoffs a laugh, smiling fondly at this adorable, mouthy blonde woman in front of her. Charity looks up at her, she’s stopped crying now but one of her eyes is bloodshot and there’s bags forming underneath them. Vanessa scans the rest of her face, there’s a small cut above her eyebrow. 

“I don’t want you to end up working yourself into the ground because your too afraid and proud to ask for help, it doesn’t even have to be me, Tracey or Rhona can-“

Charity shakes her head. “They shouldn’t have to though you’re _my_ fiancé, they probably already think I’m useless just like the rest of the village” 

“Forget about the rest of the village...They don’t see what I see do they…” Vanessa reaches her hand froward to brush a hair from Charity’s face, placing a delicate kiss on her plump lips before resting against charity’s forehead. 

“They don’t see the kind, amazing woman you are behind closed doors…I should tell you more, and you should feel that you can tell me if your feeling overwhelmed by everything…I hope ya do from now on because I don’t think I can handle another phone call like yesterday’s babe” Her voice breaks and Charity leans the slightest nudge forward to kiss her again, lingering as she feels Vanessa melt into her touch contentedly. 

“I will I promise” Charity smiles, linking her pinky with Vanessa’s which makes her smile, teeth shining as she beams at Charity. 

“Good, now come here” Vanessa says, Charity smirks as she hears the two words she’s used various times when speaking to Vanessa. They’re probably second most popular in her vocabulary, right next to _I love you_ she thinks. 

She leans forward and wraps her arms around Vanessa, well half an arm falls at her side because the pain in that side of her collar bone and shoulder is too much to handle. Vanessa clings on to Charity, kissing her hair despite the matted knots that she can feel in blonde curls. 

“Love ya” Charity says in a whisper, and she feels her heart flutter when Vanessa whispers the same words in her ear, warm puffs of breath tickling her neck as she does. 


End file.
